November 21, 2024


Y’all, this is a big weekend. I’m doing something that I haven’t done in well over a decade, and I’m kind of nervous about it. I’m going away for an overnight trip.

I know some of you are thinking, “That’s big? Really, Kristi?

But it is. It’s huge. As y’all know, Matt (if you’re new around here, Matt is my husband) has M.S., and it has progressed to the point that I have to do most everything for him. So I spend my days caring for him and working on house projects. And there are things I have to do for him all throughout the day, from the moment we wake up in the morning until I get into bed to go to sleep at 12:30am each night.

So the thought of actually going away and being away from the house overnight has not seemed possible in a very long time. In fact, I haven’t been away from Matt overnight in well over a decade.

The last time I was away from him, we still lived in the condo. I don’t remember the year exactly, but I had been invited by Rust-Oleum to go to North Carolina (I think) with several other bloggers for a weekend to test out their new products. I was so excited for the opportunity, and we hired a company called Visiting Angels to stay with Matt while I was gone.

Well, it was a disaster, and that weekend was one of the most stressful things I’ve ever endured. The company sent a man (as we requested) who as an RN to stay with Matt. We had filled out all of their paperwork, went through all of the intake interview requirements, and had gone over everything we would need for them to do while I was gone. One of those requirements was to feed our dog and take him out at least three times a day.

Everything seemed fine, and the guy showed up just was needing to leave for the airport. But somehow, the company had failed to tell him about our dog, and this guy as deathly afraid of big dogs. So I was trying to get out the door to head to the airport while the person who was supposed to stay with Matt was freaking out about our dog and saying that there’s no way he can stay in the condo with the dog.

I honestly don’t remember how that turned out. I’ve blocked it out of my mind, I think. I don’t remember if he worked through his fear, or if they sent someone else, or if our dog went to stay with my mom. It was probably that last option. But needless to say, I was going to pieces and completely freaked out, and that set the tone for the whole weekend, not only for me, but also for Matt.

I don’t remember a lot of details. Again, I think I blocked them out. But I do remember getting a frantic phone call from Matt at some point. I don’t remember the problem, but being several hours away via plane, in a state several states away from Texas, and being on a multi-day trip with non plans to return for another two days, I was absolutely frazzled.

After that horrible experience, I vowed to never do that again. That’s why I never went on blogging trips, or went to blogging conferences. While other bloggers were traveling, being invited by companies to go here and go there, gathering to network with each other and with companies, I just stayed home. I turned down every opportunity that came my way because the stress of leaving Matt with someone else overnight just wasn’t worth it to me.

So when my church announced their first annual women’s retreat a couple of months ago, I didn’t even give it a thought. My brain just automatically rules out anything that requires me to be gone overnight. In my mind, it just wasn’t a possibility.

But after I gave it some thought, and floated the idea to Matt, we decided to see if we could work out the details so that I could go. And today is the day! I will be spending tonight away from Matt for the first time in well over a decade.

I’m nervous, but he seems fine. 😀 And since it’s just one night, my mom will be staying with Matt. Since most of my time away will be in the evening and on a Saturday, Matt will actually be pretty low maintenance. She’ll just need to be sure his water cup is filled, and she’ll need to make him one meal. And Cooper is pretty low maintenance as well.

So this is a big deal. One night wouldn’t be a big deal for most people, but in our situation, it’s pretty monumental. I pray everything goes well, and my mom and Matt have a peaceful and stress-free 24 hours together. But if not, at least this time I’ll only be a one-hour drive away.

So here’s to new things, and to stepping out of our comfort zone.

 

 



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